I have a baneful habit of trying to bend like someone else. What I mean is, when I hear (or read) how some smart, successful, happy, whole person is doing something and I begin calculating what I would have to do to fit that description, adopt that practice, host those plans. Oy vey, there is nothing more wearying than taking on someone else’s met goal ~ someone else’s purposes. Can I get an Amen? Have you tried it? I can’t be the only one who thinks they’ve misplaced their life
     It fosters depression. 
     All the effort it takes to blow me off, piled on top of someone else’s druthers, loads me down with the burden of being 2 people.
Can’t be done auspiciously. Erelong I run out of strength, and wind up in bed wondering why I feel so useless.
     In an effort to clearly see myself; I started a list. Then I deleted it, quickly. Because I am not a list of likes and dislikes. Definitely not what I wear or eat. More than what I see, feel, and think. Much more than what I’ve done, am doing, and will do. I can’t share the same ballpark with limits that shout, “inferiority”, anymore. 
     “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation”. (2Co 5:17) I have permission to like myself ~ love myself. Not in a competitive, self-made, self-exalting way. In a sober, thankful way. 
     Jesus found me.
     I was misplaced, disgraced, almost erased, and Jesus found me. 
     I don’t have to bend to another’s favorites list, fit into someone else’s clothes or shoes. I fit into Christ. I am a part of Him. Where He goes, I go. Where I go, He goes. Nothing separates us. This crazy uncovery is taking me on exciting assignments. Like rest. You get a lot more rest when you stop chasing and start embracing. 
     Clearly, I need to be reminded of this every day, but it’s really no trouble to do so. It’s a whole lot easier than carrying someone like you around all day.

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